[ don't make me highfive your face ] (gypseian) wrote in ti_amo_xoxo,
[ don't make me highfive your face ]

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My love

I met him through my ex-boyfriend. The night I lost my virginity, I met the person I would find myself loving so insanely that it keeps me up at night.

I don't know why I love him, except that I do. The way he fits next to my body, the way we share a kiss, his voice, his eyes, everything. We recently separated, but still see each other. I cannot even explain how it feels, not falling asleep to him at night.. not seeing his face or hearing his voice every day. All he would have to say is "come back to me" and I would pack up my stuff right now. But he won't. He's afraid it would go back to the way it was. Even though I tell him the reason I was so crazy was because it was my last year. I needed his strength, his support, because I couldn't do it on my own. Now I'm back in my parents house, and I may never get what I want.

He's the only thing I've ever been sure about. I gave up the chance to go back with my ex so that I could stay with him. And now I can't have it, and I feel like my life has no meaning.

He stopped by today. I hadn't seen him in three weeks. We went around town to turn in his check and to pick up a few things he needed, then got something to eat and he dropped me off home. We shared an intimate kiss. I came back inside and now I'm crying.

I know I'm "still young", from what everyone says. But he was my best friend. He was the one person I wanted to be with, without a doubt. And now I feel empty. I wish he could stop being afraid and simply love me as much as I love him.
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